The Parable of the Empty Boat

Many years ago I read Marshall Goldsmith's book Triggers and one section I return to often is The Parable of the Empty Boat.

Here's Goldsmith's version:

A young farmer was covered with sweat as he paddled his boat up the river. He was going upstream to deliver his produce to the village. It was a hot day, and he wanted to make his delivery and get home before dark. As he looked ahead, he spied another vessel, heading rapidly downstream toward his boat. He rowed furiously to get out of the way, but it didn’t seem to help. He shouted, “Change direction! You are going to hit me!” To no avail. The vessel hit his boat with a violent thud. He cried out, “You idiot! How could you manage to hit my boat in the middle of this wide river?” As he glared into the boat, seeking out the individual responsible for the accident, he realized no one was there. He had been screaming at an empty boat that had broken free of its moorings and was floating downstream with the current.

In life we cannot control the actions of others, just our own reactions. And most of the time the actions of others come without malice or mayhem; they are just empty boats.

The next time you're feeling the heat of a friend, family member, or colleague collect yourself by remembering they are all potentially empty boats. No amount of yelling or anger can change the trajectory of such a boat.